A gay blogger has written an open letter to his religious parents and posted it online, taking them to task for refusing to attend his wedding in 2013.
“It’s been 890 days since the day that you both decided not to partake in my wedding. I don’t know why it’s taken me this long to say anything about it,” began Patrick Bradley (pictured above), a New York–based food columnist and creator of TheGayFoodie.com, in his letter, published Nov. 23 in Out magazine. “Perhaps I’ve been afraid of what the family will think, what the family might say. Or perhaps I’ve been afraid of losing even more of my wonderful, beautiful family, whom I think about day and night.”
Bradley reached out to magazine columnist Michael Musto and asked him to publish his letter, which, Musto notes, “provides a stinging rebuke to the small-minded way in which, to this day, supposedly responsible adults can turn against their own.” It was written during a fit of insomnia over the situation, Bradley writes, explaining that his aim is not vengeance, but to tell his side of the story.
“I’m doing it because I’m tired of walking on eggshells around my siblings, godchildren, nephews and nieces,” he notes. “I’m tired of having to be ‘civil’ with both of you, ‘for the sake of the family.’ I’m also tired of the unwanted holiday and birthday gifts, and I’m tired of you having the audacity to speak to my husband (and myself) as if nothing has happened. Have you no shame?”
In his letter, Bradley recounts a pre-wedding visit with his mom in New Jersey, just after Mother’s Day of 2013, during which he tells her that the extended family of his fiancé, Michael, was excited about meeting her. “You simply replied that you both would not be going to the wedding. I tried my best to retain composure, thinking that I’d be able to change your mind before the big day,” he writes. But when mom started quoting the Bible in the supermarket — and then told him of her fear of an angel appearing to her, saying, “Stop praying for Patrick! He’s already in hell!” — he knew things would not be turned around so easily.
Instead, he put forth an ultimatum: “I explained to you, simply and calmly, that if you (both) did not attend my wedding, you would not see me again after the wedding: no holidays, no birthdays, no hospitals, no funerals,” he writes. “What I heard next put me into a state of mild shock. You followed up, quickly and readily, with, ‘We know that! I talked to your dad last night and we already accept it! We said that we give you back to God!’”